Trauma: How child abuse victims deal with parenthood

"Many survivors really worry about whether or not to have children because they are so afraid: What if it happens to my children too? What if I can't protect my children enough?," says Ava Anna Johannson, one of the survivors involved in the study commissioned by the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse in Germany.

Johannson is herself a survivor of child abuse. She grew up close to Bremen in northern Germany and was sexually abused by her grandfather and other family members from the age of three. After a difficult youth with spells in psychiatric clinics, Johannson finished school, went to university, married and had children.

However, the experience of giving birth to her first child caused the trauma of the past abuse to come flooding back. "It totally shocked me," she explains. "I had a really strong feeling of being treated like an object, that it was absolutely not about me and my own needs, that I was being talked about and not to."

Lack of awareness about trauma among medical staff

Johannson draws a connection between her treatment by medical staff whilst giving birth to the abuse she experienced as a child, including the same feeling of powerlessness. A medical procedure to enlarge the birth canal, called an episiotomy, was particularly traumatic.

"I was cut open to force the baby out without even being warned," she told DW. "I think there's a strong parallel there with the abuse … you're supposed to just be happy that the baby is healthy and gush over it."

The authors of the study surveyed over 600 survivors of childhood sexual abuse between the ages of 20 and 70, 84% of which were women. They write that violence and disrespect during childbirth is a major social, health and women's policy issue. Targeted trauma-sensitive training and the establishment of comprehensive professional support services are all needed to tackle the problem.

"There's an unbelievable lack of sensitivity about these issues when giving birth and that's a general problem, not just for women who have been sexually abused, but it particularly impacts them," says sociologist Barbara Kavemann, one of the authors of the study.

More support networks needed for survivors

The study makes a number of recommendations for policymakers and care professionals, such as midwives, in the hope that survivors can be better supported with family planning and their everyday life as a parent. This includes specialized support for children in kindergartens and in schools.

"Traumatic experiences can be passed on to the next generation, but it is not inevitable. The danger is not that parents have experienced violence, the danger is that they do not get enough support and that they are left alone," says Kavemann.

Another issue raised by participants in the study, especially men, was the fear that they could become perpetrators — and this not only holds them back from having children but also from seeking much needed support. "They are afraid to ask for support from counseling, youth welfare and other agencies that they will be stigmatized as victims of violence and that they will be told they cannot take care of their children," Kavemann explains.

The majority of sexual abuse against children occurs within the family and almost a quarter of the parents surveyed reported the difficulty of avoiding their children having contact with the perpetrator. One of the recommendations is for better support networks to be put in place for those who have lost their family support network either because they have been ostracized or have actively distanced themselves because their family does not want to distance itself from the perpetrator.

"Self-help groups also play a very important role," explains Kavemann, adding that staff at family-planning and counseling centers know "virtually nothing" about the topic.

It is also important for parents to explain to children when they reach the appropriate age about what happened in the past and to be able to answer questions, which helps to lift the burden from both parents and children, according to Kavemann. "Children can cope with these things so long as they know and can see that they and their parents have the right to support, and above all, that they know that it is not their fault. That's really important," she says.

Johansson agrees that a lot changed for her when she was finally able to talk to her children about what had happened to her as a child. "It started when I told them that I was feeling good, that there was a reason for that and that I was looking for support. That was always the most important for me, that my children don't have to worry about me, that they don't feel guilty and that I get help," she says.

Memorial proposed in recognition of abuse survivors

Established in 2016 by the Lower House of Parliament, the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse has been investigating the extent, nature and consequences of sexual violence against children and young people in the Federal Republic of Germany and the GDR. The commission conducts interviews and publishes reports with recommendations for future prevention and for how to give survivors appropriate recognition.

Precise information about how widespread child sexual abuse in Germany is unavailable because of insufficient data — an issue the World Health Organization has asked the country to rectify in order to bring the issue more out into the open. The latest statistics from the Federal Crime Agency estimate that 54 children and adolescents a day became victims of sexual abuse in Germany.

Kavemann says that a big problem is the lack attention paid to child sexual abuse that occurs within the families in comparison to cases that occur within institutions like the Catholic Church.

One of the ideas discussed in the report is to create a memorial site in recognition for those affected by child sexual abuse who either decide not to have children as result of their experiences or who are unable to because of the physical harm caused by their abusers.

It is an idea that Johannson, who is still dealing the consequences of the abuse perpetrated against her, also welcomes. "I had a difficult start in life, but I made the best out of it and I think I did a good job raising my kids," she says. "There's just no where for me to go to get some kind of official recognition for what happened to me or get any kind of compensation. That's a bitter pill to swallow."

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